[CLOSED] Les Clubs

Le Havre, September 2019. Image: Martin Falbisoner [license: CC BY-SA 4.0] 

Films: La fille de Monaco (2008), Antichrist (2009), Demain dès l'aube (2009)

Screens: 7  Ticket price: 7.50€

I really like Le Havre, a city that, despite being almost completely razed in the war, sprang back to life thanks in no small part to the genius that was concrete-loving architect Auguste Perret.  It also hosted the first screening of Jacques Rivette's legendary 773-minute Out 1 way back in 1971, and the equally important Disco was filmed in the city (some interesting pics/info on that here).
Situated on the leafy Avenue Foch, Les Clubs is a very pleasant cinema that, as is often the case in France, surprises you when you learn that the rather modest-looking building houses quite a few screens (7 in this instance).  In the 3 times I've been there, 2 of these have seen Les Clubs serve as an ideal place to relax/dry off before the ferry home.

The other visit was not especially relaxing as it was to see Lars Von Trier's Antichrist, a film I was keen to see (and quite keyed up for) but by the ending felt largely indifferent about.  I really didn't want to squirm through it with my wife in attendance, so she decided to pootle around the shops while I took in a load of old crap about "gynocide" and suchlike.  There were only about 4 other people in there, all on their own (surprise!) -- including the slowest latecomer ever, who took one step every 30 seconds (seriously) as he made his way towards a close-up of what he no doubt feverishly believed to be Charlotte Gainsbourg's bits (sorry mate, it was body double "Mandy Starship").  I mean, if you come in late do you have to go all the way to the front?  Sit at the back!  No, hang on, that's where I was sitting.  Another guy was already sitting in my row (I was there first, so I think I'm entitled to call it mine, no?) albeit some way along from me -- which still didn't stop me from glancing over to make sure he wasn't in possession of a strategically-placed Le Figaro.

But the film really was a load of nonsense, wasn't it?  I only winced once (at the rusty scissors scene), although on the upside the inspired use of that Handel music left it lodged in my head for days (or at least until I went to see Johnny Hallyday a few hours later -- now, why wasn't the superb Vengeance playing at Les Clubs that day? It was on general release at that time).  Although, I must be honest and say I did think about the film in the days that followed, and even picked up the BD when it fell to something resembling a respectable price, so perhaps one day I'll give it another whirl.  The overriding feeling I got from it was that it was made by a truly unhappy person (cf. Pasolini's Salo).

But we can't blame Von Trier's folly on Les Clubs, which is a fine cinema and in a great location -- close to the city centre and town hall, a Perret-designed marvel which possesses some very nice gardens where you can hang out and enjoy a pre/post-film sandwich (or possibly an Antichrist tie-in Happy Meal).

Update: Sadly, this cinema closed its doors for the last time in 2011; Havre's cinemagoers have been further impoverished by the closure of L'Eden, the cinema inside the impressive Volcan building.  In a no-way-related move, a shiny new 12-screen Gaumont has popped up in the newly-regenerated Vauban Docks.

Update: Vive Les Clubs!  Well, kind of... the Sirius, another of Havre's cinemas, closed down in spring 2012 so that the building could be torn down and a new one assembled; this new setup is due to open in autumn 2013.  In the interim, the Sirius are occupying Les Clubs' old building at 99 Avenue Foch, using 4 of the 7 screens (apparently the 4 they're using have had some additional seating installed, while the other 3 screens are on a level of the building that's been condemned by the city of Le Havre).  I was initially quite pleased to hear of this development, as it meant I may once again manage to see a film in that building.  Although -- and I may have got this wrong -- it seems that Les Clubs was quite badly treated by the city of Le Havre, who bought the building in 2006 with the remit being that it would serve as a commercial cinema in the town before the Gaumont opened, and would thereafter become an arthouse cinema. However, somewhere along the line some murky-sounding study was commissioned which concluded that it was best to demolish and rebuild the Sirius, presumably so that this could meet the city's arthouse needs and Les Clubs could basically rot to the point of being condemned (hang on a minute... didn't that kind of happen?  And remind me who it was who partially condemned it?)  All of which makes it bitterly ironic that the Sirius is now currently holed up in there -- dead man's shoes, or what?  It also seems that spurious claims for rent by the city made the winding up of the cinema a necessity.  Hmmm.  Maybe I should opt for Le Studio next time I'm in town?

Update: I've just checked (late May 2016) and the Sirius still seems to be at 99 Avenue Foch, so the move seems a bit more than temporary...

Update: I've checked again (November 2019) and the Sirius no longer seems to be based at Avenue Foch, and is now in Rue du Guesclin.  The Avenue Foch building now appears to be boarded up and uninhabited.

Website

Website [for temporary(?) Sirius]

Les Stars

Films: The Wind That Shakes the Barley (2006), Le renard et l'enfant (2007), Bienvenue chez les Ch'tis (2008), Disco (2008), Arthur et la vengeance de Maltazard (2009), Avatar (2009), Le concert (2009), De rouille et d'os (2012), Möbius (2013), Les beaux jours (2013)

Screens: 7  Ticket price: 8€

Although it's a French cinema I've visited the most often, the Stars definitely isn't my favourite.  Essentially, it's not a bad cinema which, for some unfathomable reason, names its auditoriums after signs of the zodiac (ah! it's the "stars" link, yes?) and always has a nice range of films showing (often including a film that's not in French, so points for that).  I've had some really great experiences there, but also some average ones and a solitary wretched, miserable visit.

Assuming you're the half-empty type, let's start with that: Arthur 2 had just been released (a full three years after the first entry), so we decided it would be a good film to catch before Christmas -- albeit in somewhere a bit less palatial than the Grand Rex.  So, we're about 20 mins or so into Luc Besson's latest eye-popping adventure when a fifty-something couple come in with what is presumably their grandkids.  The kids are alright (or all right -- depending on whether you favour the Who song or the Julianne Moore film) but, in an uncanny parallel with the Oscar-nominated movie, it's the adults who are messed up; they continue to talk loudly for the rest of the film and Granddad gets up every 10 minutes to nip out for a smoke, letting the fire door bang loudly.

So, the experience was completely killed as far as I was concerned, and any illusions I had about France being the last bastion of the serious (or at least civilised) cinemagoer were shattered.  I wouldn't have blamed any right-thinking person in the cinema if they'd gone home and downloaded a snide copy of the film from the interweb -- they'd bought their ticket, after all, helping the film's box office totals, and were thus entitled to view and enjoy the film.  It's pretty hard to sell a cinema "experience" like this (which are pretty commonplace in the UK) -- they actually serve as fantastic adverts for piracy.  For the record, like a good soldier I bought Arthur 2 on BD and enjoyed the 80% of it I'd previously missed, but the Stars debacle remains vividly in memory as one of those sour experiences where you're going to be royally screwed whatever you do -- put up with it (as I did) and the film's ruined; get into an argument over it and the film's still ruined; even if you go out to get a member of staff (who really won't want to deal with it), you'll miss some of the film -- which, paradoxically, you're unable to enjoy anyway.

And from the ridiculous to the sublime: Dany Boon's phenomenonally successful Bienvenue chez les Ch'tis (the most successful French film ever at the domestic box office) is one of our favourite films of recent years.  Like Chris Nolan's Inception, it's that rare beast: a blockbuster that genuinely deserves its success.  Watching it in the Stars has to go down as one of my favourite cinema experiences ever.  Although Boulogne isn't at the heart of Ch'ti country it is nonetheless in the Nord-Pas-de-Calais and close enough to the parts where people ceaselessly bark hein!  Stories about the film's runaway success were common in the local media, and I recall the region's paper La Voix du Nord running some pretty excitable articles about it.  Besides the film being a ton of fun, what made the screening so special was the simple act of seeing the film in the region in which it was set; there was a constant ripple of excitement/recognition in the auditorium -- nothing too intrusive, but you could see people smile and nudge their neighbour when they spotted that street where their brother-in-law used to work, or the roundabout where they lost their hubcap.  There was something very inclusive about it all -- it didn't matter that we weren't from there, all that seemed to matter was that we were there.  Good times.

There have been other notable trips to the Stars, such as watching a 9pm (and therefore very quiet) screening of Luc Jacquet's excellent Le renard et l'enfant -- for my money better than his much-lauded penguin film, although the foxy tale does contain some pretty upsetting scenes for adults -- and kids.  Plus, the original cut includes a closing scene that was lopped off of the Kate Winslet-narrated version that eventually opened in the Anglophone world, so the completist in me enjoyed that aspect.  The Le Havre-set Disco was also another fine film we caught there, although I would have dearly loved to have seen it in Havre to see if something similar to the Ch'ti effect was in place.  Disco was very unlucky in some ways, as although it was a sizeable hit its release date meant it was somewhat eclipsed by the Ch'ti film, although I'm guessing it did a nice sideline in picking up those who couldn't get in to see Dany Boon's comedy.

I was also present on the inaugural day of the cinema's 3D system, which appropriately enough was for James Cameron's word-of-mouth, minor arthouse success Avatar.  The proud manager (I think) even came out to chat to the bespectacled masses before the film began.  Not sure whatever happened to that film -- maybe someone could start a petition to get it released on DVD?

Website

Update: For quite some time the cinema has been under new ownership, having been bought by the Megarama chain.  Megarama are currently constructing a 14-screener in Boulogne, so I imagine the Stars will close once this new cinema is completed.  The new Megarama was due to open in time for Christmas 2019, but an Easter 2020 opening now looks much more likely.  So you should still have a few months (from 11/19) if you'd like to get along to the current cinema...