UGC Ciné Cité Lille

Film: Le silence de Lorna (2008)

Screens: 14  Ticket price: 10.40€

A birthday trip to Lille -- a fine Flemish city -- met with rain and so the cinema seemed like a good place to park up for a couple of hours.  Any film by lugubrious Belgians the Dardenne bros. is a great leveller for any zip you might have in your zap, and Lorna proved to be no exception -- a grim tale involving the excellent Jérémie Renier as a hapless junkie involved in a sham marriage to land said Lorna an EU passport. 

The cinema itself is pretty much what you'd expect -- you might recall UGC's presence in the UK from the time when they occupied the cinemas that prior to then were owned by Virgin and have since become Cineworld, although the French UGCs are that little bit flasher.  I'd been to this city centre cinema at least a couple of times before to have a nice lunch at the café (ironically gone on the day I actually wanted to see a film there), and had even blagged my way into the cinema's toilets -- huzzah!  As you might expect given that it was a Dardenne bros. film, it was in a fairly small (yet perfunctory) auditorium for the rather large admission price.

The biggest drawback was that, despite the place being no more than 20% full (and I'm being quite generous here), it was nonetheless peopled by punters who wanted to sit right next to/behind/in front of us.  If you're reading this and recognise this trait in yourself, please stop this unsettling practice right now.  The Dardennes could make a film about it, with Jérémie Renier being ideal (if lazy) casting for an innocent who's regularly accosted to the strains of adverts for Société Générale.  While I enjoyed my visit there, I think my best memories of this place are of eating very nice toasties (no, not a croque-monsieur, which is what you're thinking -- I know what that is, thanks) in the café - and of a time when strangers didn't sidle up to me in the dark.

Website

Majestic

Rue de la Mairie, Douai

Film: Quand j'étais chanteur (2006)

Screens: 10  Ticket price: 10€

In September 2006 we took a much-needed trip to Douai -- a place we'd never been to before, but it was a reasonably easy place to get to to catch living legend Johnny Hallyday on his superb Flashback tour (tickets purchased about 18 months ahead of the show), thus joining the masses who've seen this megastar perform (a staggering 1 in 3 French people have seen him in concert).  The day after the show we had a full day in which to explore Douai before heading back to the channel tunnel, and after doing the town centre and the excellent market in the morning we still had the afternoon at our disposal.

We headed over to the Majestic to catch the first screening of the day, and were met with the sight of a sizeable crowd milling around as they waited for the cinema to open.  In the meantime we still had enough time to get some lunch, so went to the Subway that's right next to (and might even be joined onto) the cinema.  Lucky we did, as they had a "menu ciné" (or similar) offer which, for little more than the cost of a cinema ticket on its own, gave you your typical Subway meal deal of sandwich/crisps/drink, plus a ticket for a screening at the Majestic.  A great deal, especially when it negates the need to visit the food kiosk in the cinema as you smuggle your oh-so-messy sandwich into the auditorium.  I'm kidding here -- we did actually eat our meal like well-adjusted members of society at one of Subway's tables.  Ideally, Subway sandwiches should be eaten while standing in your sink or wearing a poncho (or both?); as nice as they usually taste, stuff that you generally don't remember ordering tends to come oozing freely out of them.

The cinema itself was pretty nice -- the screening was fuss-free, although there was a potentially worrying moment when a rather noisy couple came in, only to realise they were in the wrong auditorium.  But the film was great -- a moving, subtle and classy tale that signed off in the most bittersweet of manners.  And what's not to like in a film that features Depardieu, de France and Amalric?  Almost inspired me to go out and buy a Mike Brant album -- or at least a poster (you might have to see the film to fully appreciate that one).

Website